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Sorry yall...life has been kinda crazy lately.

So last week was week 8 of Bootcamp...4 more left. hard to believe. It has gone so frickin fast. I really and truly dont want it to end. I'm nervous about it ending I guess cause then it's all on me ya know? Well I guess it has all been on me this whole time but I guess it's that all the hype and stuff will be over and we will be on our own. I am hoping that we will continue to have support and a connection to Ben and Erica and Lisa and each other. The journey wont be over for me when the 12 weeks are done...this is just the beginning.

Last week was also my grad school weekend. Three weekends a semester I go to UVM for a Master's program. I am one weekend away from completing my first year! Just 2 more to go and I will have my master's in education with a concentration in math. Yeah I know...some of you are probably saying, MATH???Yuck. But its a great program and I am learning math that I have never done before and can apply to the classroom. Sometimes I think I'm nuts for taking on the things that I do but I function better under pressure. Maybe thats why I like Bootcamp so much:) So anyway, I went away for grad school last Thursday through Saturday, so I missed a couple of Bootcamp sessions and Metabolism class but I packed ALL of my food for when I would be gone, snacks and meals. I am very happy to say that I only ate my food and didnt indulge in anything that may have been tempting me. Everyone kept saying, "Man I dont know how you do it." And I guess I feel like I HAVE to do it. I didnt work my butt off for the last 8 weeks just to blow it one weekend. That's how I look at it anyway.

This week starts week 9 and week 2 of Warp Speed. It took awhile to get used to the Warp Speed but MAN has it been paying off! 10lbs in a week and a half...yeah I'll take that! I feel like it is just what we were doing the first 7 weeks but cranked up a notch. It is much more strict but the food is good. Again, each week that passes reminds me that we are that much closer to the end and it makes me a bit sad but I know I have to just keep pushing through. Week 12 will be here before we know it and I am determined to get the most out of it!

More later....I promise

Pukin Pumpkin:p

So this week starts week 8 and Warp Speed. It is essentially what we have been doing for the past 7 weeks but cranked up a notch and more strict. I have to say that I am quite proud of myself cause I made a grocery list yesterday of the things I would need, came home and spent about an hour and a half prepping for the week. I actually found it relaxing...weird. But I felt so good about it after, just knowing that everything was taken care of meal-wise. So Ben WAS right...plan, plan, plan.
I thought I was doing well, as far as just eating the meals as is from the plan but let me tell ya...when I mixed up that cottage cheese and pumpkin, I gagged down about 5 bites and then just said, nope I am DONE! It sounds like Em had a hard time with it too:( Nedah gave us a great idea though to turn it into a shake with vanilla protein powder...I will try that on Wednesday and let ya know how it tastes.
Workout wise, I feel like I have been pushing myself. I am swinging the copper kettlebell, and doing push ups on my toes. I have noticed a real difference in my strength. I can do things I never dreamed I would be able to and this is just the beginning. I can't wait to see where I am in a year. I got so many compliments today about the difference people see in me. One woman I work with, who I actually dont get to see very often, left me a sweet card in my mailbox at school that said she noticed how great I was looking and wanted to make sure I knew...it put a smile on my face for the rest of the day. Later when I saw her and thanked her, she said that I am carrying myself different too. I never thought about that but I guess it makes sense.
I hope people know how much I appreciate it when things like that are said or someone takes a minute to tell me "Good Job. Keep up the good work. You look great" I dont know if they realize what it means to me and that it keeps ME going!
Well tomorrow is Cardio Day and I'm guessing that Ben wont be taking it easy on us...so nite nite blogging world

week 7

So I haven't blogged in awhile...life I guess.
Last week finished up week 6, half way mark. Friday I missed Bootcamp because my son had a neurology appt in Burlington. Ben gave me a workout to do at home and I am proud to say I still got up at 5am and did the workout. My husband ran the timer and kept me going. And things went great at the appt. Everything seems to be headed in the right direction. YAY!!! There's no better feeling than knowing that your child's health is going in the right direction.
This weeks starts week 7 and the wrap up of my vacation from school. That has been a test as far as food goes. But overall I feel like I did well. This week also makes me think about how important a support system is. I'm thinking about this because things are gonna kick into high gear (even higher than they have been) and if you dont have some kind of support system in place, things will be much harder. I am very fortunate to have a support system that encompasses my home, work and places inbetween. To have all of those people behind you and encouraging you makes a world of difference. They are there to cheer you on on good days and on bad.

To go along with that, when you hope for words of encouragement from someone and it never comes, it can almost cancel out all of the other positive words. I have always been one of those people who puts 110% into the things that I do and hopes for someone to notice and give you a pat on the back to recognize your hard work. Yes, you should do things for yourself ultimately but it always feels good to have someone else notice. So you keep working just as hard and keep the hope that it wont go unnoticed.

So thank you to everyone who has supported me and encouraged me throughout this journey. Your words mean the world to me.

Results are in!

This morning we got measured and stepped on the scale and may I have a drum roll please.......ppppppppppplllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll Down 15 lbs, 9.25 inches and 2.5% body fat!!!! We all had great results but they varied obviously because we are all different. Shannon lost more lbs but was bummed about her inches, even though they were great! Em lost more inches than lbs, including 6 from her waist alone!!! George, well George was not as forthecoming with his results except to say that he saw the biggest difference in his waist. We'll open him up before all is said and done!

I am so proud of all of us...we have been working so freakin' hard at this and this just goes to show that hard work does get rewarded. I will be completely honest and say that I wanted 20lbs at this point and I thought for sure that I would get it. I know my results are good but I just had this idea in my head ya know? The funny thing is that I knew my inches would show a loss but I wasn't as interested in that. I am still stuck on that stupid number on the scale. And I am starting to understand why. For sooooo long I have concentrated on, fretted over, cried over, and stressed about the number on the scale. That's not gonna go away and change over night. It will take me just as long to change my thinking as it will to take off the weight, maybe longer.

I'm glad that we do the scale and the inches though. The combination allows all of us to see some kind of results. Overall I am pleased with my numbers and gives me a reference for the next 6 weeks.

Weekend blues

Yeah, weekends suck! Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my weekends but I cant handle the lack of structure or schedule. Saturdays work out didn't leave me feeling that great either. Shannon said I did great and Lisa said the same but I just wasn't feeling it afterwards like I ususally am. I'm beginning to think that there are some mental challenges connected to weekends for some reason. It's almost like I want to sabotage myself. It's mostly to do with the food part. When I am at school, I have a set schedule that I can stick to and I'm busy inbetween but on weekends, we sleep in and just kind of do whatever ya know? I haven't done too bad this weekend but it's not like during the week. It's starting to mess with my head a little bit too like "Oh I'm not doing as well on the weekends so maybe I should just quit".

Weekends are also when I realize and think about all of the things I have going on which stresses me out. During the week I am so busy that I dont have the time to think about things, then the weekends come and all of the sudden I have this extra time to think about stuff and remember deadlines and homework and meetings etc. etc. All of that makes me not sleep well and leads to stress and I have always been a stress-eater. That sounds like an equation for sabotage if ever I've heard one. AND I'm on vacation this week!!!! It's a whole week of weekends!
Deep breaths, just breathe...I think I am starting to realize why my blood pressure was high.

I am also a person who is more comfortable writing down my feelings and better at expressing them that way too than I am in saying them out loud to a person. I should do that more (say out loud) but I just don't, especially in a room with a number of people. I should put myself out there more like during workouts and chatting afterwards...I should but I don't.

As far as the weekends go, Ben would say (I think) Plan, plan, plan...ok

workout videos

So I titled this one Workout videos because I still have kind of a hard time watching the ones that Ben posts on the blog. Especially one from yesterday or Wednesday and it was mostly of me doing one legged burpees...thanks SO much for those shots Ben! I do see big differences from week one but that is just not flattering to anyone;)
It's the end of week 5 and today's workout just about killed me! It was a Tabata (whatever that means) and I honestly did not know if I would get through it. There were Burpees (twice!), step ups (my ass is killing me!) and these sidewinder push-ups...let me just say I think Ben got particular joy from this one! Along with the push-ups we had to do hill climbers so at the end of the 8 rounds (yes I said 8 rounds of each station) my arms were J-E-L-L-O! I think that has been the hardest workout yet...wait should I put that on here since Ben reads this? He might see that comment and think "Waahhaaahaha...my evil plan is working"
Ya know I might bitch and complain about some of this but I really am enjoying it. It has been kicking my butt, but I feel great. And Ben may have an evil side to him (heehee) but I know he has our best interest at heart...I just like bustin' his chops. Today we were doing slow bicycles and he was standing over me saying "Dont you stop" "Dont put your feet down", my abs were on FIRE and at the end of the 40 seconds, I sat up and said "Ben you @*#%in suck!" Yeah...he just laughed!
I feel like we (the moosers) are really getting into a groove and working well together. We support each other and push each other to go harder and faster and longer. I look forward to each morning with them.
Next week: measurements and scale...stay posted;)

what a week

It has been quite a week so far...everyone is sooooo ready for vacation next week. Everyone is tired and cranky and short on tempers! Vacations always come at just the right time;)

So this is week 5 and next week is the half way mark...hard to believe. I am nervous about measurement day with Ben but I keep repeating something I heard himsay over and over again in my head..."Do u have any reason why results wouldnt show? Can u say that u have done everything you are supposed to? If u are doing everything u should be, the results will be there"
I really feel like I have been doing what I should be and have been putting 110% into everything. People are telling me that they see a difference and that I'm looking great and that really keeps me going. Still, I'm nervous!

Well this was a short one but tomorrow is Cardio Day! Gotta rest up! More later I promise.

P.S. Thank you to everyone who had a nice comment about my last blog regarding my husband...he deserves every word. I wonder if he has read it...hmmmm

An ode to my husband

Well I said in my last blog that I would dedicate the next one to my husband. I feel the need to express how wonderful he is and share it with everyone who reads this and what better day to do it than today, Valentines Day.
So his name is Scott and we have been married for 10 years this May. We met at a bar of all places. Yeah not a place you think you will meet your soul mate but the way things happened, it really was fate. We dated for a year before getting married and we had kids right away. It has been such an amazing experience to watch him become the man he has. He never saw himself with a wife or a family and within a couple of years he had both. The biggest change has come in the last few years, as we have both been through some life-changing experiences. We have been through a lot with our son Grant. When he was 3, Grant was diagnosed with a Spectrum Disorder (Autism) and just last year he was also diagnosed with Epilepsy. We have been through IEP meetings, specialists, conferences, seizures (which I would never want any parent to have to witness) and through it all, he has been there...my rock, my support. Those kinds of things change a person and they changed both of us. You see the world differently and have a very different perspective on things after going through what we have with our son. It is something that unless you experience it for yourself, it is hard to comprehend. We are so thankful and blessed that we have each other, especially during those hard times. Scott has both learned from and taught me patience, tolerance, empathy, compassion, selflessness and unconditional love.
He has been my biggest supporter since I have started on this journey, although somewhere deep down I think he is insecure that I will lose all this weight and leave him. I tell him all the time that it would never happen because I know that I have found the person I was meant to be with. I would not be able to do this without his love and encouragement. He truly is my best friend and forever soul mate. Thank you Honey....I love you.

okay so maybe I should have said Saturday

Yes I should have said Saturday instead of Friday for getting back to the blog...days seem to be really flying lately. I will try to be better about that.
This morning was the first Saturday Bootcamp workout. I have to admit that I was a little nervous cause we heard that there would be quite a few people there and there were but everything was fine. Everyone was very supportive and friendly. One of the things that I was the most worried about even back when I was going to IROC was that I felt like people would be looking at me and judging me or making comments. I guess thats due to a number of years of name-calling and just low self-esteem. But I quickly figured out that I had nothing to worry about because everyone at IROC or Bootcamp is there for their thing and are not there to judge other people.
Before starting on this journey I had the mind set that trying to lose weight was a "suffer in silence" kind of thing. It wasnt something that you talked about or that I was necessarily comfortable doing. I had closed those doors and shut those emotions off a long time ago. Upon entering into the Biggest Mooser, I knew a lot of it would be public and it made me very nervous to be honest. I was still uncomfortable with the idea of people knowing things about me that are so personal. BUT....yes theres a but...since starting this and even before, the amount of support that people have showed me has been incredible! It is truly overwhelming...and I will admit that I LOVE it when people stop me to ask how it is going. My husband thinks I am becoming a "ham". NO!!! NOT ME;) I am just fascinated that people want to know about me and care enough to ask. It has almost lifted that burden that I have carried alone for so long...now I have people helping me carry it and it is a liberating, humbling, joyful wondeful feeling. I hope all those people know how much I appreciate them.
Next blog...an ode to my husband

4 week hump day

Well today was the middle of week 4 (hump day) Get your minds out of the gutter people! Geez...Anyway, I am finding it hard to get on here every night but figured if I did it every other or so, that would work. I would love to blog every day but once I am home the time flies.
So todays workout was interesting...we partnered up (I was with Lisa C.;) and we had a deck of cards between the two of us. We took turns drawing cards and each card stood for an exercise. You did not want a joker cause that meant that you had to do ALL of the exercises. Yeah, Lisa and I both got one! It was fun though.
I was also on the radio Tuesday morning...little to my knowledge BEN! He likes to send emails after 9 or 10 at night when I am sound asleep and snoring. But I made it work and it was fun. They asked the typical questions as far as how its going and things like that. I think they were a little surprised at how enthusiastic I was. I said that its been hard but I have loved every minute of it, even the really hard stuff. I truly have cause I know that it is all working and it makes me keep going back ya know? And I owe it to not only myself but to my family and friends and supporters to do my best and put in 150%. It was a neat experience.

More tomorrow...or wait...no probably Friday;)

All clear!

So I went back to the docs today and found out two awesome,, wonderful fantastic things...first, my blood pressure was in check so I got the all clear to be tortured and abused as Ben sees fit AND guess who has lost 11 lbs since starting Bootcamp. That's right! This girl! I knew the scale had to say less because I am definitely feeling it in my clothes and theres no way that I am exchanging all of my weight for muscle. Yippee! Good day!
Saturday we worked out on our own after our field trip with Ben to the grocery store. It was fun and I liked that we ha Ben right there at our finger tips to ask all the questions we wanted.
Lesson 1: stay around the perimeter of the store; if you have to go done an aisle, leave your cart at the end
Lesson 2: AVOID anything with high fructose corn syrup...shit is nasty!
Lesson 3: Limit foods with labels or eat foods without (veggies, meat)
Theres more lessons but I've got a yummy meal of chicken and green beans waiting! More tomorrow;)

TGIFriday!!

WoW!! End of week 3...hard to believe. We are all seeing small differences and it is very exciting. We were all very proud of Emily today. She kicked butt, she really did. It was cool to be there at that moment for her.
Thursday was Cardio day and we all love those days soooo much (wa wa whaaaa). Erica kicked butt and took numbers. Is that how that saying goes? Anyway, she pushed and we brought it! Then Thursday evening we had our 3rd Metabolism Makeover class. What I like about that class is that it is mostly us talking and sharing and supporting each other and Ben is there for guidance and to answer questions. My success this week was that I finally got my protein where it needed to be for a couple of days this week but my challenge was that I dont drink enough water throughout the day. I never have. I am going to go out on a limb here and tell you all something a little embarrassing...So the first week of Bootcamp Ben said that we should be drinking half out body weight in ounces every day. So me being the ding dong that I am and misinterpretting what he said, took my current weight, converted it to ounces and then took half!!! So according to my bird brain, I was supposed to be drinking like 2400 oz of water a day. hahahha So I asked my husband and he said "No! You take have of your weight and thats how many ounces you drink!" ooohhhhhh, that makes sense!
I now know how many ounces I need to be drinking but I still have a hard time so Ben said that is my assignment for the next week. I have to drink 4 32oz bottles of water a day and all I can think of is that my eyeballs will be floatin'! I'll try though.
Tomorrow morning we are meeting Ben at Price Chopper for a little Grocery Shopping 101. Better bring the checkbook!

Into week 3

We are half way through our 3rd week. Hard to believe...still a bit anxious about after the 12 weeks but I am trying to stay focused. This morning Ben said that it would be a good idea for us to step on the scale tomorrow and see what it says. We were all a bit apprehensive at first but then Ben said that if it hasnt changed, theres reasons for it. Either we have gained muscle and that weighs more than fat or we need to step it up. I am going to wait til Monday cause I go back to the doctor then. I have an inkling that it will show a loss but I dont want to get myself psyched up ya know? I have been noticing that my clothes are fitting differently, especially around my waist and hips. People are making positive comments too. It has been such a self-esteem boost!
This morning we (the moosers) were chatting about differences we are noticing in each other. I said that they shold go back and watch the videos from the first week and then watch a recent one. There are some HUGE differences already. It is sooo exciting. We all feel so great (although in pain at times) about the whole experience.
Thank you for the support everyone!

Monday, Monday

Back to the grind today...up bright and early after a VERY short weekend. The days are just flying by and it is already the third week into Mooser Bootcamp. I am going to be so sad when the 12 weeks are up...I'm afraid of life afterwards, without this whole thing. Can I keep it up on my own? Can I meet my goal that I have set for a year from now? I guess I cant worry about that now but rather focus on what I am learning to take with me at the end.
I am so impressed with how we are all doing! I cant believe the difference from day one...little things that we are all accomplishing and improving on. It is such a powerful and uplifting thing to be a part of.
Today we did stations where we had to go back and forth between two exercises for 3 rounds.

kettle bell/squat press- shoulders killed!
double kettle bell squat/renegade rows- knees and arms felt like jello!
reverse sit-ups/weighted sit-ups-thighs and abs burned!
rows/step-ups-holy crap!
It was a tough one but we all finished and gave it our all.
Last week I suffered a bit of a set back though because when I went for a well visit at the docs, they found I had pretty high blood pressure. Soooo, the note they gave for bootcamp said that I had started meds and could only do low impact cardio and NO resistance training. I was NOT happy but like Ben said, we have to do what they say. Ben has been great though. He is still pushing me but modifying where I need too. Hopefully, the meds will do what they need to and I can get full clearance to do whatever Ben puts in front of us. Stay tuned...

Tomorrow is cardio day! Better rest up!

Back to the Blog...

Sorry everyone for not blogging in a few days! The days just seem to be flying by and before I know it, it is 9:00pm and time for bed. I HAVE to go to bed by 9:00 so I can actually function when I get up at 5:00am. Anyway, by the time I get home and take care of the kids, supper, get things ready for the next day and actually get to sit down, the day is done. Yeah I know...excuses, excuses!
Soooo this week we saw our first cardio days. The workouts were super tough and pushed all of us to our limits BUT we pushed right back! We BROUGHT it, really we did! Tuesday Erica had four exercises on the board and a number of reps to aim for of each. She said they were "modest" numbers...oookkaaaay...Well we had to do as many as we could in 30 secs and report our numbers to Erica. Our goal was to not let our numbers drop and beat them! We all kicked butt! Nice job Moosers! I was determined to get 10 Burpees! I WANTED 10 Burpees. They are elusive creatures ya know. Well I didnt get it in the given workout cycles so Erica said I could still go for it. Shannon planked opposite me and counted out loud as I did them....AND I DID IT!!! I couldnt even do one last week. At our Thursday class for Metabolism Makeover we were sharing a success for the week and I knew that I wanted to share my Burpee success. Hell, I had been telling everyone at school! I would stop people in the hallway and say "Ask me who did 10 Burpees in 30 secs? That's right! This girl!" But during class when I started to share, I got really emotional when I started to say it. I was balling...and not quite sure why. Everyone there was very supportive and so happy for me when I managed to share my success with them. The tears and emotions were very unexpected and really made me reflect on this experience so far.
I think a big part of it was that I have never been able to do things like that. I was never an "athletic" kid. I think it just all the sudden sunk in that I can do this and I can be proud of myself.
We have the weekend off and I am going to concentrate on food. At home is always harder than at school because there are so many temptations and time to think about it. Wish me luck all!

Monday Frustration

Well this morning was back to Bootcamp. I found I actually missed it over the weekend and it was hard to get back to where I was Friday. Hopefully this will get easier as time goes. Today was cool though cause it was the first workout with Lisa. She was very sweet and helpful. I will admit that I would occasionally peek at her periodically when I felt like I couldnt do any more. It helped me keep going and push through. So thanks Lisa and I am looking forward to future workouts with you.
As far as the eating goes, I felt like it was much easier to stay in check during the work week then while at home all weekend. I slept in both days so that through my eating schedule off a bit. That may be one luxury I have to give up. I find myself eating more often at home just out of boredom and just because the food is there and easily accessible. So these are a couple of things I definitely need to work on.
I also took another look at my goal sheet from the Metabolism Makeover program. I will admit that I filled that out originally in about 2 minutes and then last Thursday during class I was listening to some of the other women and heard soem really heartfelt goals and how they were really putting themselves out there. So on my reflection sheet, the first thing I wrote down was to rewrite my goal sheet. I raised my goal and extended the time period beyond the 12 weeks. Ben said to set lofty goals and break it into small time frames. So now I have a lofty goal that I gave myself a year to get to and smaller goals in the months leading up to it. Definitely do-able!!
I am off today (snowday!) so I plan on taking some time to plan some meals and try Fitday.com. Enjoy today everyone!

Days 3 and 4...in the books!

Sorry I didnt write yesterday...still adjusting to my new schedule and trying to fit everything into a day. Anyway, day 3 I was just BEAT! Not emotionally but physically. I found myself nodding off a few times...not good during school hours! Today was much better. I did not wake up as sore and I felt like i had just a bit more energy during our workout.
The workout was tough but I felt like we were all having fun and supporting each other and giving Ben a hard time:) Today was also the first day I actually saw Ben with his video camera. It was funny cause Emily and I said we should come up with a code word for when one of us notices the camera. All joking aside, I had a really hard time watching the videos. I felt nauseated before I watched the first one. I forced myself to watch though. Of course it starts with me in the most unflattering position possible. I hope that gets easier. Today I think Ben was filming me from behind...thanks for that Ben!
Eating feels like it is going well...I am very anxious to start seeing results. I dont want to psych myself out and step on a scale though so I am trying to keep my head focused on day to day.
That's all for now folks!

Day 2...new pain

We made it through our second workout and were part of an ongoing class with Erica. She was great! And all of the women in the class were so supportive and helpful. I didnt feel intimidated or anything like that. I felt like I tried my hardest. My fellow Moosers were great and did an awesome job!
We started the Metabolism Makeover too and it almost feels a bit like learning another language ya know? It feels kind of un-natural and strange but I know with enough practice I will hopefully become "fluent". I am not missing certain things as much as I thought, like sweets and carbs. The eating every 3 hours is kind of tough.
I forced myself to watch the first video of us working out...that was tough. I HATE watching myself on video. It was painful. I dont think anyone really likes what they look like on video but you can never prepare yourself for it either. The funny thing is that I never even saw Ben with a camera! He's like a sneaky filming ninja! I'll have to watch for that;)
More tomorrow!

Day One...kicked our butts

Today was our first official workout...we all thought we were doing pretty well until Ben told us that he took it pretty easy on us...oh crap! I have never exercised like that or to a point where I felt like throwing up. Ben warned us about that and kindly helped us locate the nearest exit! I was sore after but I think that having a job where I am on my feet all day helps because I dont have that opportunity to stiffen up...Shannon was a bit worried about that with her job. Hope she is doing okay. I told Emily it helped to see her as I was working cause she would keep going so it made me keep going! We are all a bit nervous about being in a regular class tomorrow but Ben assured us that we would be fine.
Ben took us through a warm-up and then 2 sets of exercises. Some of those things have the WEIRDEST names! Burpees (oh how I loathe thee), Gobble Squat, Snatch something...yeah a little weird. Anyway, the time flew! I couldnt believe how soon it was over. I have to try and leave closer to 7:15 from now on cause I was 10 minutes late to work...hopefully it wont interfere with workouts.
Ya know, I think even if I had not made it into the final 4, I still would have been able to walk away with something pretty special...I had sooo many people rally behind me and support me. It was so heartwarming. My students were and are huge supporters and it became quite a community-building event. A lot of them read my story and were very empathetic to what had happened to me. I hope that someday down the road if they encounter a situation like that, that they will step in and help or not judge someone before they know them.
So many people have said that they voted for me or congratulations or how happy they are for me...it's a great feeling.
I'm hoping I am not too sore tomorrow for round 2...nite nite

1st day jitters

Today was our first official day as The Moosers. I got to meet Emily, Shannon and George, as well as Ben. I already have the feeling that it will be a very supportive group of people. I'm sure we all have the same worries and anxieties. I am just really excited about this first step and didnt even squirm when Ben measured and wrote down my measurements. Everyone needs a starting place right?
I want to invite friends, family, Mooser supporters to follow our journey through this blog.
Thank you everyone for your support.